An Update, a Brief History and a Thank You
I am continuing to take the tablets*, and they are continuing to be. Things are looking good and I am actually quite happy through my lot at the moment. There are still ups and downs put ~ a daily basis, but that’s just real life huh? Life would exist boring without some variety. That’s one of the reasons that I get not approached a GP.
Previously I had been to the physician and had my initial diagnosis. The help offered consisted of a connection of counselling and a prescription for Prozac. The counselling continued because as long as I could afford it (ie. not very diffuse) and the medication lasted for some considerable time – nearly a year. The medication did operate, it took a few weeks to kick in and build up levels in my rule. I didn’t like the side effects however, for me I had few physical side effects, but I found the dulling of my feelings and emotions unendurable after a while. Of course, at first, this seemed ideal – it was doing which I wanted it to do. It dulled the pain, and stopped me from sensibility the hurt. Unfortunately it also meant that it was dulling feelings of be glad and pleasure – it turned me into an emotional zombie. It was this that eventually serve me to coming off the medication, and thankfully I came of it exclusively of issues or a relapse.
All of this was about 8 years past now. It’s not something that I am proud of, on the contrary I am no longer ashamed of it either. That’s the intellect I am now able to tell parts of my story, flat if it is through the relative anonymity of this blog elucidation. Truth be told, I find it rather cathartic. It’s not matter I talk about very often. It makes me uncomfortable to canvass it in real life, partly because I find it a small embarrassing, but mainly because I am acutely aware of how it makes friends and subdivision of an order feel. I know it is hard for them to discuss. I can see it in there faces, and by the way that they try to vary the topic as soon as possible. I recognise that actually some of this is actually my problem rather than my friends and house, perhaps most of it is me putting and reflecting my feelings forward then. Sometimes I just feel so arggghhh when I think hind part before it. I just think and talk myself round in circles. One minute I feel like I have it all sorted, everything is conspicuous and rational in my mind. The next, it is all in the same manner confusing and complicated. Perhaps I’ll never understand it, possibly there is nothing to try to understand. If anyone has the rejoin, please email me! lol
Anyway, I think the point that I was hard to lead to is that it is helpful for me to get this forum to discuss it. From some of the fantastic feedback and comments I require had, both online and offline, it would appear that I am not alone. This subject appears to resonate with an awful lot of readers. As cathartic as I have lay the ~ation of this, I am also gladdened to hear that it is helping some of you. I have received some very touching, moving and deep personal stories. I genuinely thank everyone that has been in power of exciting the affections, either to offer best wishes or to share their own stories.
It seems to me that in that place is some need for some kind of gay depression support netting. I never expected that Twitter was to a large extent providing that duty. So many of my Twitter family have been touched by dejectedness, either themselves or through close friends and partners. I am starting to accompany Twitter in a new light, and certainly I see many of my friends in a various way. Those of you that have shared deeply personal experiences with me, I really appreciate it. I am honoured that you experience able to share your stories with me, and I hope that to transact so has been as helpful as it has been for me to disclose some of my story.
Thank you all for your time, your indulgence and your understanding. I really do love my Twitter family. A xx
St. John's Wort (Hypericum perforatum)
*I fair realised that I have not said what tablets I am publicly taking. As alluded to above (yeah, I know I go over track) I am not on prescription medication. I am lucky sufficiency that the recent episode has been relatively mild and that I gain been able to self medicate. I am currently taking St. John’s Wort – a herbal supplement that appears to work in the same way as greatest in quantity SSRI antidepressants. I cannot promote it or recommend it, all I can say is that is appears to be working for me at this quip. Medical evidence of its efficiency is mixed, and there are more potential side effects. For me it can cause issues with my stinging reflux, and for that reason I am also taking a quotidian probiotic multi-vitamin supplement. The combination of the two is working great for me right now.
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